oh yeah. my family really made me happy today.

 

so what if i like to spend my own money? i mean, come on. i need a non-camera phone, and the one i have is a piece of crap. i want to sell my old phone for cash so that i can afford to get a better non-camera, which means i didn't spend anything anyway - the phone sells for less than i bought it, but what doesn't? it's called devaluation, people.

 

my phone, i do what i want with it, right? nooo, obviously my phone, my family decides what i do with it. the hell with that, i say. my sister's like "do what you want, you're always doing that anyway". fuck that. how often have i cancelled my actions because i cop flak from the family? obviously, when mom pulls out the guilt, my dad gnashes his teeth and my damn sister's like "whatever", i'm left with the guilt, anger and remorse, which prompts me to wash myself of sin in the showers of holy water a.k.a my shower. after all, the gods have been offended and i, the lowly peon, shall be sacrificed for the good of humanity.

 

oh yeah, feeling really great about being in this family. so let's get to it, shall we? my mom thinks she's a failure because she's raised a spending-crazy, childish moron who doesn't know how to value money, obviously she's also right in her own mind. my sister's a failure for not being right 24/7, and for failing to convince me to do what SHE (and apparently what mom) thinks is right.

 

and I'M a failure for not having the sense to sell the phone anyway, then saving the money 'til it collects enough dust to increase in weight value, though not valuing a cent over 50 years. yeah. sounds like a great plan. after all, i want to work for the government so they can pay me peanuts, so that in 50 years, the money i make will be there, making me feel proud to collect my two cents of interest per year. that's what it's all about right? twiddling your thumbs, watching you coins stack up one by one.

 

well guess what? if you say you haven't seen me all week, you're about to see alot less of me.

 

peace out.

later.

 

well now this is a fun topic.

 

:P

the following statements are lies:

 

"third time's the charm"

"you'll get it next time, man"

"just keep cool, and you'll get it"

 

you can be cool as a cucumber, keeping the vehicle moving at a steady pace that does not cause any obstuction to the road, and not endanger anyone's life, but as long as your tester feels like he'll get a heart attack, there's no chance of you passing - which is where i fail. my technicals are all good, save a close shave w/ a curb in the course, but the tester feels that i follow too close (read: i don't leave miles of clearance between cars) or that i take chances (read: i expect people to follow the rules of the road).

 

ah well, guess no.4 has to be better right? in the meantime, i did something i don't normally do - i asked a girl for her number! surprised myself by being that decisive actually (: but she's really cute and nice (a year older, but so?) hopefully she won't turn me down if i ask her out lol. oh god i hope she doesn't have a boyfriend ^^ wouldn't want to be beaten to death in like a back alley or something.

 

someone once said "STEEERIKE 3!! YOU'RE OUTTA HERE!!" but i will choose to ignore it. simply because it's harder to pass at ubi doesn't mean i should change locations. it just means i'll be a better driver for it.

 

either that or i'll be a poorer driver. i chooes to believe the first.

 

peace out.

later.

- Gaucci

 

taking chances has never been my strong suit. in fact, the greatest risk i have ever taken is in going to australia instead of staying in singapore for my last 2 years of A-level equivalent education. in doing so i have learned a great many things about other countries, and what it means to live in a truely multi-cultural society.

 

but other than that, i don't ask girls out on a whim, i don't go out w/o considering whether i'm pissing off my parents, i don't do anything that may even sound like it might be different. although i've always said that i strive to be me, the truth is even though i try, sometimes my fear of ridicule overcomes my desire to do something, and i miss out on the opportunity.

 

recently my unit had a retreat, called "Advance Day" (riiight...). we had a leadership seminar where the speaker split the whole lot of us into 4 different groups: Steadiness, Consciencious, Influencing, D-something. i was in Influencing. this meant that i

a) am people-based in my work

b) lead by influencing people to do the work

c) talk alot

d) crave attention.

 

that last one really hit home. i guess i am an AS kind of person. maybe it's because i didn't get much of it when i was younger. not from anyone who wasn't family anyway. being ignored most of the time gets a little lonely, for those of you not in the know. i guess bad press is better than no press. after all, the only thing worse than being hated is being ignored.

 

now i have a choice to make. do i go back to australia? it sounds like the logical choice, having been accepted there already, and having friends and an entire family migrating there. but on the other hand, i have the US, places i've never been, people i've never spoken to, a new kind of life i don't know if i want to experience. i've always thought that eventually when i leave to study uni, where i go is where i'll stay - PR, and retain my citizenship in singapore. i'm still hoping that will be the Plan, of course if it's not, i guess it's not up to me - but Him. anyway. if that's the way i see it, then australia would be the obvious choice.

 

but would it mean that i missed out on a whole new experience to stay in my comfort zone? is it right to do that? somehow i have to ask myself if i'm denying myself a chance to grow. it's not that i won't be experiencing new things in uni @ UNSW (a co-ed environment for one) but somehow it's like i'm going back to something familiar, and it just feels strange i guess.

 

AU or US. someone help me out here. i'm feeling the AU tug, but US is a "whole new world, a new fantastic point of view", as the song goes.

 

peace out y'all.

later.